Getting ugly is so inevitable that my stomach hurts thinking about it. I can use countless creams, eat as healthy as possible, exercise, get the right amount of rest, and still not prevent myself from falling apart in old age. I can’t figure out if guys or girls look worse when they’re older though. Saggy breasts are pretty bad. Probably worse than saggy balls. I mean, balls are already saggy, and in comparison, much smaller than breasts. Breasts turn into wrinkled, stretched out IV bags, but unfortunately can’t assist in saving lives. Balls just end up looking like enlarged versions of the California Raisins. Slap some sunglasses on those bad boys, some white gloves, and lay a few instruments in front of them. Boom. You’ve got a raisin rock ‘n roll band. What’s not adorable about that? And maybe if a clown that’s scheduled to appear at your grandkids’ birthday party has to back out last minute, you can let grandpa entertain them with his performing balls. Grandpa’s California Raisins Balls cover band.
Portions of Ramblings: An Attempt at Writing Stand-Up
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